My 2016 New Year Resolutions and Happy Anniversary with WordPress.

I know, it comes a little bit late. It has been a week in 2016! Time never fail to surprise me with its speed. Unbelievable, you have not seen wrong. It was already 9th of January.

My number one resolution for this year would definitely goes to being healthy and to do this, I would have to eat healthy food and workout regularly. This brings me to my second resolution which is have my body in good shape which I mean, having abs! I have been doing my workouts for a month now and you know what. I can totally feel the pain and all kinds of hurt like pulling yourself away from eating junk food. And I feel like quitting, because it is too tiring. You have to workout almost everyday and when you want to eat ice cream just to award yourself for putting such effort but you cannot. You have to stop your cravings or else what you had suffered just now would be all gone. Okay, now let me have my tears wiped off.

The next is learn how to wear contact lens, which I can say it proudly, “I have succeeded! Yay! ” The moment when I wear it, I felt AMAZING! For a 20 years old girl who had her glasses on during primary school years and cannot live without it since then. It was a miracle, like I can go out and even drive without spectacles! How cool is it! By that, I want to thank the inventor of contact lens. You had made my life. Following that, I want to learn how to make up. You know, appearance is really important in every aspect. Have a good appearance means you are advantageous nowadays. So, this is a must even though I have all kinds of problems for this.  This  is another story so I would not talk about it here, maybe next post?

In conjunction with my anniversary with WordPress, here comes my next resolution which is weekly blogging. I would like to post once a week for whatever topic, please anticipate!(wink). And also, I have set my reading goals, 12 books for this year. I know it may seem too less but let us have a realistic goal(let`s just kill the lazy bugs in our body one by one, I do not want to have a show-hand war with them, lol).

Most importantly, build a good personality and being more matured. I want to let every person that I have been with feel comfortable. By that,I have to mind my words and my attitude, especially towards my family and friends. We are all trying to be the person we wanted to be. We pave our paths, the cards are on our hand. Every step that you take will lead you to a different place. I have learned some lessons and said bye to some people because my incapabilities to handle unpleasant situation and now it is the new beginning. So, I hope we all can learn more lessons this year and gain experiences in order to be the person we have always wanted to be.

Yes, here comes the end of my new year resolutions. Lastly, I would like to share my 2016 motto: “Keep the persistency and there will be no limits, having faith in yourself and nothing is impossible.” I hope you are doing well and rock this year with me!

 

Love,

Sin

 

 

 

Nightmares

These days, I`m having my exam which is really important to me. But I did not stress out until I get insomnia rather, my way of stress reflects on my nightmares.

I dreamt of chasing by a lion when I was sitting in a cab. But this was not the worst, the dream that came out most frequent was I got a bad result and my friends got  a better one and yeah I felt very unsatisfied and irritated, and then I awake. This might not sound as bad as chasing by a lion but I always woke up more terrifying when having the later one than the former one.

Plus, she often put up her what I called it”the degree of preparation” on Instagram. This means that she posted the exercises that she had done, the book she had read, oh, she is driving me crazy. U know that kind of feeling, where u just wanted to have some 5-minutes rest and u check your Insta to see some nice pic and then u saw her photo which reported her preparation and in comparison with yourself, u feel so insecure and unprepared and then u lose all the confidence and keep thinking that she had done more preparation than u, and u will definitely get a bad grade.

Wtf! I just couldn’t sleep well.

Learning is cool.

Just another random post while I`m studying.

It`s my exam month now, and I`ve been really focusing on my studies. While I am doing so, I feel satisfaction throughout the process, and I called it learning instead of studying. Even though I hate the cruelty of the exam in which it determines my future pathway, I try not to just wanting to get good grades but to actually fulfill the desire to learn new things. And I feel very satisfying because I consciously knowing that I`m learning new things and the world has so much to be explored.

Ok, going back to my studying.

Here`s what I am reading now, in case you are curious about what gives me such satisfaction.

Exam

I hate exam but I hate myself more. It`s due to my laziness my procrastination. Uhh…I`m tired of these seriously. However, I seem to forget my determination to eliminate my bad habits every time I attempted to study, so I failed every time. Well, this had caused me suffering in the exam period. This kind of feeling really sucks. After several times of suffering, yeah, I finally get sick of it, and also the actual exam is approaching, I wanted to change, for real, for good. I have not forget my promise, I have to keep my words.

What does not kill us makes us stronger!

Right now is 6.31pm, at Marina Bay Sand Hotel, Singapore, I got a bad news. I was not selected as one of the board of directors of the club that I have been applied for whereas my good friend got the highest position in the club. I cannot and would not describe the feeling of getting a bad news during my wonderful holiday. It is not about how I hate her for getting that position while I am not. This post is about my reflection and trying to get up as I have fell down.

First, I would really like to thank God (if there is any). By the way, I seriously think that theres is a God now. He can hear my prayer, even though I am not seriously praying, I am just yelling to someone for help. Anyway, He did hear it and He helped me. My prayer was requesting God to give me a catastrophe, whatever it will be, that will change my perspectives on life which I have been using for 18 years as well as my personality and character. This is because I have suffered too much with the perspectives that I had been using, I did not know why money is important and everybody loves it so much; I did not know how to treat my parents good; I did not know the importance of socialising; I did not know the ruthless reality that might just kill me easily without my protection from parents; I did not know why my siblings love alcohol so much; I did not know everything and I did not know that the poor little flower in the green house was actually ME.

How stupid I was to realise it just now. I was too naive for the past 18 years, I took everything for granted. I felt that myself was not a bad person. I love nature and environment as well as protect them and I support justice and fight against poverty and all kinds of inequality. The question is what can I do and how can I do. I cannot answer it and that is the problem. I, do not have anything, wealth, fame, power, I have none of these. And I ridiculously claimed that I want to do anything for the society but the truth is I have nothing and I cannot do anything. And naively asked that why everybody is going after wealth , fame and power, and why these should be the only definition of success. Shame on me.

Let bygone be bygones, it is Chinese New Year now. “New year, new me”, it is a little bit old-fashioned but I mean it. It is not a slogan, it is a vow. I vowed to God with this amazing scenery at Marina Bay Sand Hotel that I will get 4A* for my AS and also A2 exam which I will be sitting this year, and I will get the offer from the university of my choice and also get a scholarship so that my parents will not have to pay all my fees and expenses for my journey to UK. Besides, I will get the money to travel here again and let God witness my promise and the success I bring. This is the promise of me to every creature on the earth.

If I fail I will not fail my promise, there is no turning back. I want it as bad as I want to breathe.

Pillow Talk:Money

Tonight was a wonderful night, talking with my sister heart-to-heart. We talked about how each other`s life is going, events that happened and lots of opinion sharing. After all, I insist that money is not everything, it does bring happiness, but only to a certain extent. There is a Chinese saying goes”money is the root of all evil”. Yeah, I concurred with that. I can see all the people around me was suffering and having an exhausting life just to earn more money included my father. He is suffering with depression, and not only is he suffering, my family members are tiring with his condition too, everyone is not happy. See, how many bad things money could bring us? But I also ask myself why is my father be in such condition, I`m seeking the answer, and I sort of have figured out, the answer is ,the everything I am having now, my education, my food, my shelters, my clothes, my laptop,my smartphone and so on.Why must one suffer to get all of these things? The answer to this question has always been a yes, isn`t it? It is a fact, it is the reality, all I can do is just accept it, is it? Yeah, everything I had seen, every word that I had been told, implied the alleged fact, money is everything or maybe it is really a fact? I do not know.

Due to my acknowledgement of my father`s condition, my wish and ambition was never for money, never, ever. I admitted that I don`t know what to do with my life when I was asked by my sister about my direction in life. I might not know what is it, but I know that it will never be of money. I don`t want my life be as my father`s, I think it is horrible to live a life like this, only for money. I will prove to my sister that money cannot bring true happiness, the sense of tranquility and serenity and the healthy spirit and lively soul.Those are what money can`t buy. They are so good that you will feel so good about yourself, feel so great about the world and feel superb that you are alive, I mean not just breathing and actually living. I will live a life that I was always dreamt of, being anywhere around the world, appreciate the beauty of nature and have a healthy spirit as well as body. Like, watching aurora in Arctic, riding horses in Mongolia`s field, diving in ocean to watch the coral reefs and many more. It needs money to do all these activities though. The conclusion here is no conclusion. I am here failed to try to figure out things in my mind, again.